Taming the jealous beast
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Male
I'm feeling jealous. My wife is VERY attractive and gets lots of attention although she never looks for it. Generally,we're happy and married 19 years.
Recently she was out of town with friends and I became jealous because a man approached her. She told him she was a married lady and while he's welcome to talk and hang out, not to get the wrong idea. He was fine with that. He ended up hanging out for hours talking with my wife and the couple she was with, although mostly to my wife. They danced to a couple fast songs and just socialized. She told me he was a really nice guy.
The next day, before heading home, my wife's friends were interested in seeing the campground this man had been staying at. He had told them all about it and as they enjoy camping they wanted to see it. They, with my wife, drove through the place to check it out. The guy was not there and my wife claims they weren't looking for him but admits it was a possibility they might come accross him and his friends, male and female. She said if they had seen them it would have been OK as they had fun hanging out the night before.
I was very angry/jealous. On the way home from the airport,my wife told me all about the people she met, including the guy. She lied about going to the campground though because I wasn't handling the situation very well. I found out from our friends at a later date that they went there. I'm sure my wife enjoyed a little attention from the guy. It must have made her feel good. I think too that it was not a good idea to check out the campground the next day.
She insists she did nothing wrong and that they were just being friendly and talking. She says she would never have lied tome either if I hadn't backed her into a corner. My insecurities are haunting me with the " what if's" She is a very good woman but this scared me. Is it normal to enjoy the attention from a person you know is interested in you? I don't expect her to be a prude or rude to people but I thought she would just tell the guy she wasn't interested in talking and to move on. The strange thing is I would hae the done the same as she did. I keep telling her though that once a guy has made his feelings known to a woman, it's hard to just be "pals"
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
She's Out of Line
I don't think you're overreacting at all. It's fine to talk with members of the opposite sex but your wife did more than that. First of all,dancing is not just talking and certainly going back to his campground isn't. She's playing with fire and was clearly out of line. Your wife is a flirt and it was being disrespectful to you and your marriage vows.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer