Do guys look at porn?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, but I still have a problem with trust. I've been lyed to and hurt in previous relationships, but I really want to start totally trusting him. When we started going out, I made it clear that I hated pornography, and he told me I had nothing to worry about, that he loved me, so he would never need that. Last fall when I was away for 3 weeks, he looked at it, and admitted it to me a couple months later. It really hurt, but he told me "it was just there so he clicked on it". Now he has a job programming movies into hotel systems, and some of them are "adult" films, and it worries me that he'll start to get interested. Please tell me your advice, I don't want to hear that I should just accept that guys like porn, but whether I should trust him when he tells me that. Do all guys look at porn? Should I belive that he won't?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
What Makes You Uncomfortable?
My advice is this. Find out what it is about porn that makes you so uncomfortable. Are you insecure with your looks? Do you feel threatened that he will compate the actresses and events to your personal life?
I do not believe viewing porn in a relationship to be a problem as long as it does not interfere in your sex life..ie he spends so much time "diddling" that he neglects you. How would you feel if he told you that he doesn't like women who spend time shopping? Common sense and moderation are the key to any relationship. You have to be able to let the past go and find peace within yourself.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer