Boyfriend's ex is having his baby
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am dating a guy that i met when he was still living with his ex. They had so many problems, and he even told me that he had planned to break up with her once he got back on his feet. Well he eventually broke up with her, but we were kinda dating when they were still together. Then when he breaks up with her she is supposively 2 months pregnant with his kid. he told her that he wasnt ready for a kid, but it was ultimately her decision. When he met me he told me i was exactly the kind of girl her was looking for and i told him that i wanted him.. not his baggage of having his ex girl, and me being the girl on the side. i didnt want to settle for that. So we began dating and she was still in the picture.. constantly calling him.. threatening me to hurt me, and she even told him that if he is with me he cant see his kid. When this all occured i really could not understand how someone like this could possibly bring a child into the world with a positive upbringing. my boyfriend has scars from when she used to attack him. I always had doubts in him b/c i met him when he was with someone else, so why wouldnt he do the same to me right? that always puts doubts in my mind. And at the time i met him, i didnt realize what i was getting into.I really feel like his ex is having this baby to use as a weapon against him and our relationship. There are times he went back to her when we would fight and break up, but we would eventually get back together and I would be left with the memory of him going back to her, the girl he once was so desperate to get away from. I was so supportive of him when he was having problems with her, i listened to him,gave him time, and gave him my all ultimately, but there is only so much you can take... There are times his ex's call him and he tells me i would like them, if i knew them we'd be friends. I tell him i dont want to be friends with your ex's. I dont even like the fact that you bring them up. He never talks about me, or how lucky he is to have me. I know i was stupid for taking him back but, i am in too deep and i really do love him. I just want to know the steps i need to take when he makes me jealous, cause i never had the urge to do that to him.
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
Leave Him Now
Advice #1: Start concentrating on yourself in the ways that you can improve yourself to be happier rather than your boyfriend's problems or relying on him to making you happy.
Advice #2: Realize that your so called boyfriend is not the one who will commit to you 100%. He is undecisive and confused. He needs to grow up and take in control of his life.
Advice #3: Once his ex-girl friend has his baby he will be accountable for the baby whether he wants to or not.
Advice #4: Do something nice for yourself. Leave him while you are still young and healthy and give yourself a chance meet someone nice who cares for you.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer