I Like Him - He Has a Girlfriend
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Hi, I have a problem. It was my best friends birthday this past weekend and her, her bf, her bf'ss friend and his gf and i went out to a club. When my friends bf picked us up they were all in the car. I had never met my friends bf's friends before. i got in the car and there was my friends bf's friend. He was so cute and we hit it off immediately like we honestly connected instantly. But obviosuly he had a gf and i knew i couldnt have him so i blocked him out and just had a good time at the club.
The next night we all hung out agian but this time it was all 5 of us and another guy who was friends with the guy i am crushing on. We went out for a couple drinks and i was sitting beside him and his friend was sitting beside my crushes gf. HIm and i were talking about what movies we liked and music and we likes all the same things and we were laughing and having a great time. meanwhile his friend was buying his gf drinks all night. So, him and his gf went outside for about 20 mins and were fighting (they fight everyday!) they came back in and i asked him if he was alright and he said he didnt know what to do because she always gets mad at him over stupid little things.
I am really starting to like this guy but i realy dont want to be the girl who broke them up but i really like him. Please tell me what i can do because i really cant decide. Thank You
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I met a guy at work, and he came on to me till I bought it. We hang out occationally at our company parties having the sparks in our eyes.
We both usually talked about current and past romance experiences, and both agreed on the unseriousness with our current ones each time we had this topic.
Knowing that we are both in the different relationships with our own gf and bf, we started kissing and took it all the way.
He has a gf living with him, but kept asking me out. We dated regularly outside work, and had a great time together for about six months.
All the sudden, it was definitely a time to end.
I bumped into his gf at our company party where he wasn't even there. At that moment, I was completely brought back into the real world.
I talked to him the next day at work over lunch, and he told me he liked me and can't do much about it. But he also had the nerve to tell me that he can't do much about his gf either. And let him speak why not...because they live together which makes the life more complicated than I expect. I was not even trying to make him say "ok, I'll dump my gf over you". I was expecting to turn our love-affairship into a friendship which we haven't had yet from the start.
Well, as I interperted his quote, I think he meant that he loved her so much, but also wanted me as well.
Unfortunately, we still keep that great colleaguesmanship that is the only thread we have in between. I ask him for his work support and he asks me for lunch.
He also manages to talk to me about his fight stories with his gf. Exactly what you need on Monday lunch at nice Italian cafe close by the office.
Well, what you need is to stay away from man with gf. Even though they tell you that they are tired of fighting with their gf, they are actually just loving the way you get sparked up with him. Don't ever get hooked with these irresolute man. They love their gf, but they just want more.
It is much worse finding other single available man. You never know that this dude with gf might turn up available by the time you get over with him. That, I call it ironic.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer