I'm afraid to love my husband of 19 years.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I'm afraid to love my husband of 19 years. TO be more specific, I'm afraid of being hurt and disappointed by his actions. I'm afraid of never resolving conflicts. I'm afraid he will not love me like I want to be loved. I'm afraid he won't consider my feelings about disagreements we get into, etc.,etc. I've learned to shut my heart off with him. It keeps me safe. Of course, this doesn't do our relationship any good, but I don't know how to let my guard down. I've been disappointed and hurt too many times to count and this time I just can't seem to give in once more to try and make the marriage work. I'm not sure what to do. I've considered separation, which i know would be one way to not have to "Worry" about being "Afraid" to love him because i wouldn't be obligated to. How do i decide what to do? Or what should he do? Is this a problem that i should run away from by separating from him? Will I ever be able to love him with my whole heart or has too much damage been done??
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
I'm wondering why after 19 years,that you are afraid to love your husband.Has he cheated on you?Does he have a problem with alcohol,drugs,etc?Are you the jealous type? Something MUST have happened for you to feel this way.Did your parents have a problem in their marriage? You need to see a marriage conselor ASP to find out what is at the root of your problem and get the answers that you need. Good Luck!!
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer