He Lied and then Tried to Hide the Truth
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
In April of this year I found a cell phone number of a woman who works with my live-in boyfriend of 9 years. When I confronted him about her he said she was just a friend. I told him that I don't mind him having female friends and he could talk to her as much as he wants at work or if he happened to see her in the streets but I didn't like the idea of him calling her especially when I am not around.
He told me then that he wouldn't call her anymore but he recently got a cell phone and he did not know that every number he calls would show up on his bill. He just got his first bill December 26 and whose number do I see on it hers. He called her right after I had left for work one morning. I am furious because he lied to me about not calling her anymore and he tried to hide it by making the call on his cell thinking I would never find out.
I don't trust him and think everything he says is a lie. I don't know what to do. I am so miserable. Am I wrong for not wanting my boyfriend to call another woman? I don't trust that men and women can only be friends. I think it always leads to something else.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
From what you are saying I think that you already know the awnser in your heart. Why does he call her when your not around? He already knows that it upsets you. If she is a friend then maybe you should ask him to be more open about who she is and what kind of friendship they share. Wow, you have been together 9 years!! I think that you should know all of his friends by now. If he is making new friends I would think that he would tell you about them! About your last statement, I like that. I feel myself from experiences with all of my male friends that they always tend to want more from me. I have never ended up having a relationship with an intended male friend, but all relationships tend to start with being friends. Putting that part aside I would decide what I really wanted. You have been together a long time and that should count for something. Maybe, you need to dig deeper in your relationship and see if there is anything else that is suspicous. I always try to remind myself that there are many fish in the sea and from my past experiences you should definately confront this issue the sooner the better.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer