Dating my Female Friend
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hello, I'm 22 y.o., and I've fallen in love with a 24 y.o. girl. We've met in the work 5 months ago, and we're now friends. We eat together every day w/ 2 friends. In the first months, she was very talkative and she was very nice to me. But in the last 3 months (I've fallen in love with her in the 2nd or 3rd month) while my feelings were more obvious (and I know she knows how I feel about her) she was making more and more jokes about me (for example: we're talking about going somewhere, and she says to her friends: ok, let's go, but not with [my name]), about how i act and try to make me feel jealous (for example: by talking with her friends about the attractive boys that work there, or by saying "we went out and met 2 guys and we went with them to...", laugh, look how I start feeling jealously, and then say "It's not true.")
When I tell her to go out with me, she says she's busy, or she makes a joke, but never accepts (except sometimes when we go with her friends).
Today I feel even worse. A friend told her "you and [my name] would be a nice couple". She replied: "no, I think [another friend's name] and [my name] would be a nice couple, cuz with me, no way, not even if I'm shot" I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything but "why do you say that?" She just said to her friend something like "what I said wasn't something small or indirect but something direct" (but in other very different words). Then she left.
My questions are:
- Why does she act like this? I mean, she's my friend, but she likes too much making jokes about me and, feeling like I feel about her, some of her jokes really hurt me. Or does she feel something for me? (I don't know what to think)
- Maybe it's silly to ask but, do I still have a chance to be her boyfriend? If so, how could it be possible? What shall I do?
I really LOVE this girl, so I hope you can help me. Thank you.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
She's Not For You
She probably acts like that cause she likes you, but also she doesn't know how to tell you. Well I think you don't have a chance, sorry dude but it might not happen. You shouldn't ask her why she makes jokes about you cause she might make another joke. You should go out with someone that is not like her. Sorry, hey, your still young you'll find a girl that's perfect for you. I wish you luck, of finding another girl and take my advice.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer