I Hit His Ex, He Left
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend asked me for some space to get his life straight. We are not broken up, just space. Things moved really fast when we got together and I put my foot down about some things that he does that I don't agree with. He says that I never tell him the things that he does right and am always negative. When I met him he just broke up with his girlfriend for a month. The relationship lasted a year and a half(off and on) and he has had trouble telling her that we were together because she was sucidal. He continued to remain friends with her for that reason and I had no problem with that because she has no friends around here.
Well, I got off of work early one night and found his ex at his house. I didn't know that she was there to meet other people and flew off the handle and hit her. I now have charges pressed against me and a whole bunch of other stuff going on. He now feels like he can't trust me. He thinks that he has seen my true colors and that is not the case. He doesn't know that the ex told me that she was there to be with him. It is just a big series of misunderstandings and he doesn't want to listen to me because he said that he heard it all before.
The mother of his child tried to kill him twice and he doesn't want to go through all of that again. He is scared. I know that he loves me and misses me because he has told me, but feels that he can't handle this right now. He is not sticking up for the ex or for me. The ex is moving away in 2 weeks, so I think that the charges will be dropped and he said he would make sure of that. Is there a chance for us, or am I just holding on for no reason? I love him and don't want to be with anyone else. He says that I have pressured him and that I am too pushy. Please give me some answers.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Hitting is a Problem
hmm... personally, i really think you should give that guy space- really s-p-a-c-e. and then see him a few months time. its amazing how life can change- right now, you think you wont wanna be with anyone but him, but your thoughts are so saturated with anything related to him- so then how could you make a clear statement?...
or, just leave him and move on. i'm not going to say there are plenty of fish in the sea because that is the last thing you will believe at this moment, but you do really need time to think things through.
hitting that other girl is problem a sign that you are holding out on for no reason.. please please do not resort to violence. her spirits will be untouched, if you want to nail someone, nail them by attacking their source- their mind...
you need to suck out the poison out of al your life.. (and wel, this situation) and only you can really know what the poison is.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer