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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin



Obsessed with love



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 17 years old, and ever since I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 weeks (I was being dumb and emotional), I started reading love novels. (Note: I don't think it really has anything to do with why I started reading love novels, but I have no idea) Even before then I was watching chick flicks such as "A Walk to Remember." Any movie that made me cry I would buy and watch a million times. So after I found romance novels, I started buying and checking out a million of them. I would go through at least 4 a week. They were usually all contemporary, and I would go far lengths to get a new book by my favorite author. Lately I think this is becoming a problem. I am back into movies and it somewhat freaks me out. I watched "The Notebook" and I cried my eyes out at the end, but I was fascinated in the beginning when Noah and Allie were falling in love. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I watched the movie a few times but I had to return it. It was like I was addicted to it because I felt as if I was having withdrawals. All I keep thinking about is how hard I would have fallen if I was her, or what would I have done in a situation like that etc... I get light headed and my heart races and my face gets flushed. Then as another example to strenthen my question, I just recently watched "Say Anything." This was probably the worst I've ever been obsessed with a certain situation. When I watched it the first time, I loved it. I loved it so much, guess what, I watched it again. But I couldn't stop thinking about it like inside of school or when I was at work. I would think about when they were kissing or telling eachother they loved eachother. When I watched that movie, it gave me chills and I got light headed and my heart raced as well. But this is what I look for. I noticed I might have an emotional problem because I was watching a heavy make out scene, and I started crying. It was almost like an overload. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, but I just can't stop thinking about love, and I'm only 17 for crying out loud!
I guess my real question is what exactly is wrong with me? Why do I spend hours at a time looking for movies such as Say Anything and The Notebook, and become obsessed with the characters falling in love? No one my age is like this. I feel like I should be having fun and no serious relationships, but I most definitely want to find true love. It might be the idea of some of the movies I watch, I have no idea. I just feel somewhat sick (meaning like headaches, sadness somewhat) and I want to not have to think about love all the time.




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Tell Someone


Hey, I totally can relate to what your saying, because believe me I've done exactly the same thing and still do. I'm still hung up over my ex, and its been almost 2years- now that's nuts. And honestly, I'm not sure how to cure this except that hope it will eventually fade away. Telling a nurse or counsellor I find is easier said then done. Perhaps the first step should amongst what you have been doing is talking to your friends. I find that they can be the most supportive people of all, and can relate on the same level (hopefully). The next thing, (and yes this is a pretty big move) is to try talking to your ex. I just recently started talking to mine, and of course I hope something will come out of it. I guess what you really have to realize is what was the cause of your break-up and try to fix it from there. If it was a bad break-up, hence "cheating, lying etc". then forget him, honestly. But if it was something minor, then try to work it out. I believe in the fact that if you dont try, then you'd never know. Rather than live without knowing.

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