She Keeps Cheating on Me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and I got together in high school 2 years ago. We have since fallen deeply in love... I don't know what I would do without her. Since she is one year older than me, she currently lives in California, I live in Washington State. Next year, I will be attending college 20 minutes from her, and I'm really excited about our future. Nobody makes me happier than she does.
Here's the thing. She has cheated on me twice before, and now she has revealed that there was one more incident recently. The first time, according to her, was a short kiss instigated by an old ex of hers. She apparently instantly stopped him, and told me right away over the phone. The second time, she said she was extremely drunk ( she never pukes, and she was this night), and was again kissed by a guy. She told me about it right away.
I'm lost now because I really love this girl. She's for me. But if i keep on letting this slide, i fear that she won't feel that there is any sort of negative outcome from cheating. All of my signs point no. In my mind, i shouldnt keep on with this. I feel left out from her life and I feel like shes changed in ways that i cant see, being so far away. But my heart can't end this right now. There's so much to look forward to. I just need advice from an outsider. What Should I Do?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
True Loves do Not Cheat
I have dated a girl for eight years and we are either years apart in age; I am older. She cheated on me while under the influence which is no excuse because there is not excuse for cheating. It boils down to this. A person who cheats on you does not respect your relationship or you as a person, period. A person that truly loves you, truly, will never cheat on your because they will think about how it will effect your feelings. This girl is simply disrespectful, weak minded, and not worthy of your time, effort, and emotions. My girlfriend was the last person I would ever expect to cheat but she did. She also balled her eyes out when I told her “goodbye”. You need to take a deep breath, count your losses and cut her loose because once they cheat they will always cheat. There are lots of fish in the sea so take the time to catch a good one. Just remember, if you don’t have respect, trust, and loyalty in a relationship you have nothing! You’re missing all three. I know its hard dude, it was hell for me, but wounds heal and time moves on.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer