Let her grow up a little more

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have known this girl for over 5 months now, i met her off the internet, she is a local girl, and we live about 4 miles apart, she was 15 and i was 19 when we met, but now i am 20 and she is still 15, but 16 in 3 months.

I fell for her personality, she is just so easy to talk to, very supportive, and just very fun to know, she is so down to earth, but unfortunately in the 5 months, we have only been able to meet the once, which didnt go to well as she brought a friend, and her friends parents stopped her coming along, we seen each other for 30 minutes, and have never seen each other in person since.

We talk pretty much every night, and we talk for hours at a time, we just never seem to get bored, which i think is a good sign, i really like her, and have also asked her out, she didnt say no, and didnt say yes, just that she needed time to figure out her feelings, and it would be awkward with the age gap. I know that she has been having problems with her ex, as he is messing with her head, as she thinks she may still love him, which i understand, sheaint just going to forget about him.

I have tried to meet her since, and she seems busy all the time, it is hard for us to meet, as i work alot and she has had a few family problems recently, but it just seems at times that she keeps giving excuses, she has said things like she don't want to go out with me yet, cos of the 5 year age gap, or meet, go out as friends, because her parents dont know me, which i totally understood, but yet she seems to have time to go out with other boys that her parents dont know, and she recently went out with a boy, she had only met the once and he didnt know her parents, we have also talked about her wanting to go out with a 20 year old, it just seems that it is excuse after excuse when its about me.

She does care about my feelings, and we talk to each other in confidence, we ask anything, we give advice to each other, maybe i am being paranoid, but its just i really like her, and all i really want to know is where i stand, even if she didnt i would rather know, all i want is for her to be happy, and if that meant being with me wasnt an option, then id live with that, but i just want to know,

We have talked about things like how many kids we would want, kid names, all things like that, and it all seems that it would work, but when it comes to the crunch, she always seems to back off, with excuses.

Have you got any advice that could help me, as it is getting kinda hard to cope with. I just want to know.

User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Stick With It

I am in the same sort of position! I am a 15 year old girl and am totally besotted with a 21 year old. We have both admitted there is a lot of feeling there and its great when we text and phone each other.
i met him at work and we get on beautifully. The only problem is that i have not got the freedom that i want and so can only see him at work. I told my parents about him and they are not happy with the age gap! But i can not get over the fact that my parents were exactly the same age as us! i dont think that it is fair and i know how you feel just stick with it and everything will work out if it is meant to be. good luck!

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