Forgive and forget?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been looking round the website and this is probably pretty typical, but i really need someone's help.
I am 15 and my "boyfriend" is 17. I love him SO MUCH, i really do, and he has always said he loves me too. However, i told him that i wouldn't sleep with him before i was 16, as that's the legal age, and also i didn't feel ready for sex then. He was fine with it, and said he'd wait however long i wanted.
I was on holiday a while ago and when i came back i found he'd cheated on me with another girl, who is also 17 (older than me) and he'd had sex with her more than once. It wasn't him who told me this, it was another friend who'd found out about it. Now everyone seems to know, and the girl he'd cheated with has spread it around the entire school that he only cheated because i wouldn't sleep with him. I don't know if this is true, because it seems so unlike him; he's pretty quiet and is really sweet normally.
I've been totally shattered and heartbroken since i came back from holiday and heard the news, and even though all my friends are telling me he's not worth it, and to move on, i DON'T WANT TO because i need him so much. PLEASE don't tell me i'm too young to be in love, or to move on, because i almost feel like i'd prefer to not know and still be with him than know and be without him.
i do know for certain he cheated, but i don't know how much else of what i've heard is true, and he doesn't have, like, a past of cheating.
Please help me
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
While reading your journal, I didn't see where you have actually had a conversation with your boyfriend. You didn't share what he had to say about the whole ideal. Instead of focusing on what all of the other people have to say about it, focus on what he has to say. If you feel like you want to stay with him after that, ya'll need to focus on what actually happened and what you need to do to not get into this situation again. Remember that you are just beginning your journey in dating. When you get into a relationship, know that this may not be the person that you spend the rest of your life with. However, if it just works out that way, then great. If you choose to stay with this guy, remember that he is not perfect and neither are you. I wish you the best of luck.
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