I'm Trying Not to Be Jealous
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I want to not be jealous anymore. My boyfriend never gives me any reason to be jealous or to fear that he will cheat on me. He tells me that I'm all that he looks for and wants, and he tells me I'm beautiful but I still am jealous of other girls. They can be strangers, girls that aren't even his friends, but friends of his friends that are hanging out around him, or my own friends, I will become very jealous. This is breaking up our relationship...my jealousy and complaining over everything I see that bothers me is the reason why we're on a break right now.
I know I shouldn't be jealous--I can't back up my jealousy with anything that he has done. Part of me feels that my jealousy is due to my past boyfriend. I was with him for a year and a half and in the beginning, I never once thought that he'd cheat on me. I never had a problem with him going out, I'd never worry. He had told me how much I meant to him and I believed it. But 3 months into our relationship, he cheated on me, and things went downhill..I broke up with him and I had found out from him that he had recently cheated on me again.
Fears of the past becoming the present cloud my mind. I trust my boyfriend, but I still get jealous. I got jealous over him letting a girlfriend of mine borrow something that he didn't let me borrow. I don't know what to do.
How Do I stop being so jealous when there really isn't any reason for me to be jealous???
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I totally understand what you are going through. I am struggling with a similar situation. And I too have insecurity and jealousy issues over a past experience. My advice to you is that if he is with you, he wants to be with YOU. If not he would be with someone else. I know its hard, very hard but try not to think about things or situations that can only make the jealousy worse. If he doesnt give you any reason to make you feel he will be unfaithful, and your not geting any instincts about it. I say he's a great guy who loves you very much. Shareen
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer