My girlfriend became a model...and it's driving me insane.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I'll start out by stating that I am 23 years old and I am madly in love with my girlfriend - to the point where it hurts to be so in love. The biggest issue with our relationship is distance. We do not live in the same city, nor do we even live in the same state. We met online, fell in love online, and still date online. I know this could potentially be the biggest cause of our issue, but I'm looking past the generic, "You guys need to live closer - it will fix most of your issues." Neither of us have the resources to move closer, though we have both discussed it and would love nothing more than to be together in person this very second if it were viable.
Now, I'll move onto the deep root of the reasoning for me submitting this question. My girlfriend became a model a few months ago, which I thought was interesting at first because she was having fun and she was able to show just how insanely beautiful she really is. The modeling began eating away at me and I've become more and more jealous as every day passes. She has told me that she would never be a nude model, either artistic or in some of those magazines that growing boys would find in their father's dresser. I believe her, but the pictures she is starting to get into are becoming a bit suggestive. She tells me that she is wearing clothes underneath (such as a swimsuit or her bra and underwear) - but it's hard for me to believe this because I feel like she's saying it just to keep me from getting jealous. When I see the pictures, it makes me think that she had to strip down to her undermost clothing in front of someone, and that person had to have been involved in helping her sit right or get into the correct pose. I just can't begin to fathom the different scenarios involved with her modeling with other people watching. I hate feeling like this, I hate with immensely. But I also hate the fact that other guys are getting to see her in her most private clothing, something in which I don't get to see. She says she loves me just as much as I love her, and when we spend late nights on the phone or online, I truly feel she loves me. But when it comes to the modeling, I don't think she understands exactly how I feel.
How can I learn to accept her modeling and accept the fact that other guys are getting to see her bare body in it's most private state, when I can't even see it? How do I get over feeling like she doesn't love me as much as she says because she shows herself to these strangers, yet won't show herself to me? It's a hard situation with all of the factors involved and it kills me every day because we argue at least every day or every other day regarding my jealousy.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to express myself correctly and informatively to prevent us from getting into heated arguments over things that I'm sure someone else would find completely irrelevant to the way I'm feeling.
I hope someone can help, because this is eating me away.
Thank you for your time.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi buddy. You NEED to trust her.
I am in a similar position as you. My girlfriend is amazing too. She is 25 but was on the Olympic swimming team as a teen, was a model in her late teens / early twenties and still found time to get a MSc in Engineering. Just remember this, she loves you. When a girl loves you and wants to be with you no matter the distance, you don't need to worry about other guys seeing this and that. If she is hot, guys will imagine privately whatever clothes she wears! I have been jealous with previous girlfriends, but it made everyone unhappy. Just love her and remember how lucky you are to have her. Don't ruin it! Its VERY difficult to find a model who is mature enough to treat men well or isn't high maintenance / shallow.
Also, if you care about her then make sure she stays in education or has a plan for her life after modelling. Models usually end up marrying fat old wallets because they don't know how to support themselves when they are too old to model and have become lazy.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer