My girlfriend became a model...and it's driving me insane.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I'll start out by stating that I am 23 years old and I am madly in love with my girlfriend - to the point where it hurts to be so in love. The biggest issue with our relationship is distance. We do not live in the same city, nor do we even live in the same state. We met online, fell in love online, and still date online. I know this could potentially be the biggest cause of our issue, but I'm looking past the generic, "You guys need to live closer - it will fix most of your issues." Neither of us have the resources to move closer, though we have both discussed it and would love nothing more than to be together in person this very second if it were viable.
Now, I'll move onto the deep root of the reasoning for me submitting this question. My girlfriend became a model a few months ago, which I thought was interesting at first because she was having fun and she was able to show just how insanely beautiful she really is. The modeling began eating away at me and I've become more and more jealous as every day passes. She has told me that she would never be a nude model, either artistic or in some of those magazines that growing boys would find in their father's dresser. I believe her, but the pictures she is starting to get into are becoming a bit suggestive. She tells me that she is wearing clothes underneath (such as a swimsuit or her bra and underwear) - but it's hard for me to believe this because I feel like she's saying it just to keep me from getting jealous. When I see the pictures, it makes me think that she had to strip down to her undermost clothing in front of someone, and that person had to have been involved in helping her sit right or get into the correct pose. I just can't begin to fathom the different scenarios involved with her modeling with other people watching. I hate feeling like this, I hate with immensely. But I also hate the fact that other guys are getting to see her in her most private clothing, something in which I don't get to see. She says she loves me just as much as I love her, and when we spend late nights on the phone or online, I truly feel she loves me. But when it comes to the modeling, I don't think she understands exactly how I feel.
How can I learn to accept her modeling and accept the fact that other guys are getting to see her bare body in it's most private state, when I can't even see it? How do I get over feeling like she doesn't love me as much as she says because she shows herself to these strangers, yet won't show herself to me? It's a hard situation with all of the factors involved and it kills me every day because we argue at least every day or every other day regarding my jealousy.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to express myself correctly and informatively to prevent us from getting into heated arguments over things that I'm sure someone else would find completely irrelevant to the way I'm feeling.
I hope someone can help, because this is eating me away.
Thank you for your time.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
You aren't the only one to feel this way
I know EXACTLY how you feel man, I'm going through the same thing, online relationship, the jealousy with my girlfriend modelling. Every time I see her pictures I just just can't appreciate them anymore, it seems like she's just turning in to an object for everyone, she loves the attention and knows she looks good. Tells me she's mine but still shares herself with the world.
An always I guess we are the wrong ones, but they don't realize how they are really affecting us.
But this one person told me, "You've got a woman that's all kinds of self confident, hot, that wants only you, that others drool over, and you're going to ruin it because you're too insecure to appreciate her body outside the bedroom. Would you prefer she cover every inch of her body and be so self conscious that the fact that anyone would think she's attractive blows her mind? Because those types of girls are more likely to fall for any man who thinks she's sexy, for validation. "
It's eating me away too, and I have no idea how to deal with it but ignore it. We fight, break up, make up so many damn times over this sort of issue but still won't let me go even when I try to get out of it.
Your not the only one, hope we both can tame our women's a bit one day.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer