Not Sure If It's Right
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Well, to give a bit of a background, I am 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been best friends for about 6 years, a couple for over 2, and living together for over a year. I love him very much, but I am not sure anymore if I am in love with him. Having been friends for so long, we get along great. We rarely fight, we have a lot of fun together, we trust each other completely, we have pets together, and we have planned a life and future together.
Essentially, everything is perfect except for this: we don't seem to have any passion. We rarely have sex, and I often find myself lusting after other men. I don't want to give up everything I have with him. Nobody in my life has ever treated me so well and accepted me for who I am, flaws and all. But lately I keep thinking more and more that I want some passion in my life. Is what I am thinking normal for someone in a relationship? I've noticed that what I feel for my current boyfriend is also not as strong as I felt for my first love. The ironic part is, I'm happier in this relationship, as my first love treated me terribly and I ended up hating him.
I keep thinking that I might want to break up, but I'm also terrified of the idea of losing my boyfriend completely, as a friend and everything.
I guess my question is, is passion something that always dies out after awhile in a relationship? Will this eventually happen with anyone I'm with? What's more important, a calm, steady contentment or a passionate romance?
Thank you very much for your time!
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Honesty and values
Okay, I agree about the part where teenagers are all over each other, whereas adults are more, how you say, not as obvious about it. I am fifteen, but I act as if I'm forty. I don't like PDA as my friends seem to. But I do know this. If you value what you and your man have, then be honest with him. This way, you can try and fix it,and it might work. My mom has always told me honesty is the best policy, even when it's tough and I stand by it.
Good luck, and I hope everything works out.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer