Does he have any care and concern for me ? Is he interested in me ?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have had a very strange experience and I'm very much confused at the end of this experience. Please give me some clarity. I am a young woman(not married). About a year ago, I joined my present organization for a job. I liked my job and was initially happy. But later things started to become sour. My colleagues became jealous of me because my boss (a woman in her fifties) liked me and my work and started to talk good about me. This my colleagues didn't like eventhough I was friendly with them. Then slowly due to the brainwashing of my colleagues I guess, my boss became very indifferent towards me. She would find fault in everything I did for no mistake of mine and snub me whenever she saw me. I couldn't understand her attitude towards me and tried to speak to her but she never gave me a chance. Even my colleagues also became indifferent and bossing towards me. After a period of time I couldn't bear it anymore and became emotionally down. Then one day, there was a function in office. When I entered the office, I saw the boss of my boss, a handsome young man who is around 4 years older to me. I felt like approaching and talking to him about my problem, but instead when I looked at him, I smiled at his eyes and fell in love with him !! I don't know how ?? But he didn't smile back. He looked down and then looked at my eyes. He just asked me to go and have breakfast which is being provided in the office that particular day. Things started to change from that day onwards. My boss started to cool down towards me. My colleagues also started to mingle with me. From that day onwards, my boss's boss kept an eye on me whether I'm encountering any problem. One day, I had some issues and was in my boss's cabin talking with her. Then suddenly I saw my boss's boss peeping through the window. When I saw him my eye ball pupils dilated. When he saw me, he immediately opened the door and came inside and sat down to talk with my boss. I immediately went out. Since my boss doesn't like any of the employees working under her to talk to her boss, I was unable to talk to him. There was one more instance when he came to my rescue without me talking to him. Then one day, as he was passing by the corridor, he was about to give me a warm smile and I also wanted to smile back. But in between my colleagues came in and I had to divert my route. I didn't want to give any room for gossip mongers, because my boss's boss doesn't smile at anyone over there. He keeps a distance. After that incident my boss's boss stopped looking at me. He started to confine himself only to his cabin and his workplace area. Even if he saw me anywhere in the corridor, he would divert his route. But whenever I saw him, my heart used to beat very fast. Whenever I saw him, I used to get joy in my soul and would spread cheer and laughter around. He became a tonic for me. I was strongly attracted to him. But I never confided this to anyone for fear of getting a bad name. He was a married man. Now trouble started to brew for me. My colleagues started to link me with this man as gossip but it didn't reach my ears. My boss also would particularly talk about this man(her boss) looking at me in front of my colleagues. My colleagues used to giggle. I felt very much insulted. I kept quiet and didn't show any expression. My boss started to play her same old tantrums at me which I didn't like. Somehow I pulled on till the end of the year (my contract period) and in the end I quietly resigned and came out giving some other reason as she had some of my important official documents(which I needed to take it back from her). Even on the last working day, when there was a general meeting for everyone, my boss's boss kept looking at me and didn't look at anyone else. When I looked at his eyes, catching his look, he would immediately turn his eyes away. Then he would look back at me again. He appeared to be serious. What does this mean ? He never gave me an opportunity to talk to him. Did my boss's boss like me or not ? If yes, why he didn't take any effort to help me eventhough he had all the power to do so ? Why he didn't put my boss in her place and control her ??? Even after leaving the job, I keep thinking of him whole day. I'm not able to forget him. I yearn for a warm hug from him. Am I in love with him ? Does he also think about me ? Even while travelling on the road, when I think of him, immediately I see his name flashing on some road sign or signboard in some shop. What does this indicate ? Will we meet in the future ?? Till now, so far, I have never felt attracted to this extent towards anyone. He is a married man and I'm an unmarried woman. Please give me some clarity about this entire experience that I had. I'm confused. Thank you.
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Gratitude for the experience
You created an emotional link to this person when you first met him. Both of you felt this link, that's why you constantly think about him. In time, without interaction, your link will fade and you will stop having a crush/love on him. After all, he is married, it is not meant to be between you and he. You may start to resent him for not doing anything to stop you from resigning, but you will have to curb that thought (if it happens) and forgive him. Accept and show gratitude for this experience he brought you.
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