BAD case of jealousy- feels like a sickness
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met my boyfriend in class during my second year of university, we've been dating for 8 months. I'm 20 and he's 22. I have had about 3 relationships prior each one not even lasting a month and the same with him. All around me girls are getting married having children and I feel like i've finally found the man of my dreams (another reason to be so clingy). He is just the most amazing person I have ever been with. He is incredibly smart, fit, good looking and one of the funniest people you will ever meet.
-He has a very charmy personality and is very nice. To me it feels like flirting.... all his friends are basically girls- an they are not normal girls they are blonde skinny bombshells. My self esteem has never been so low and I find myself crying alot, feeling too ugly and almost not even "worthy" to be his girlfriend. He has never really done anything to make me feel like he's a cheater - but I feel suspicious all the time, and I've never been so jealous in my life when he talks- glances at- waves at- or has EYE contact with a girl. If he's in the same room as another girl I honestly just feel like crying and wanting to break up because I can't take the suspense. He lives at the residense at the university and I go through senarios all the time in my head of what he could be doing. I have this terrible paranoia and its affecting my studies worrying all the time, and I have never felt so ugly in my life.
please please I don't know what to do :( Sometimes I'm even looking for ways to get angry at him and accuse him of flirting or being unfaithful. This is not normal jealousy- this is just plain ugly...... and I can't talk to him about it because we already have and he assures me time and again he's never loved somebody so much in his life. I don't want to bother him with this anymore. But I CAN'T STOP!!
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Hard to Trust
Wow, I thought I was so alone feeling exactly like you do now, felt like I was crazy and wrong and that I was not good enough. I completely understand what you are going through. Have you been able to sort it out because to be honest the advice that this website gave does not really feel like enough. I have the same problem with my Girlfriend because shes sending long messages to a guy while im on holiday and then sending me much shorter and less interested messages. I find it hard to trust her because I have seen so many faithful foolish people trust too much and get home so I am always checking out what I am doing, I have a huge dilemna.
Do I A. trust her completely and risk getting my heart broken and feeling like a fool.
or B. Check up on her and try and stop anything hapenning before it does?
I find this very hard because I have always been able to control my life in every way and been able to steer my life. I achieved perfectly in everything and its so hard to accept I am wrong. I am the captain of the rugby team, I get the perfect grades. And I am going to an amazing Uni with an ubnconditional offer. So how can I be wrong here when I can work everything else out perfectly?
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer