i want my ex back and i know she still cares about me but shes started seeing someone else!
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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
So here’s the situation, my ex and I dated for about 6 months though not "officially" I preferred to keep it that way because it seemed like the safest option. I did not want to get burned or burn her...But I was unwilling to commit because I was unsure of the way I felt about her. Because of this I was kind of a jerk to her. I flirted with other girls, and once let her down when she was in a pinch. She told me she loved me but I told her I still didn’t know how I felt. Towards the end of our relationship I decided to make it official because she was beginning to question the validity of the relationship. Unfortunately it lasted for about 6 days, I began to feel smothered and trapped all of a sudden, and when I was given the chance (argument) I bailed...She took it hard, she cried allot all the time, said that I screwed her over. Fast forward about month, I spend some time alone, went on a few dates, when all of a sudden I realized that I missed her. I started to think about all the good times we had together and the strong connection we shared, we could talk to each other about anything and everything. So I did what everyone in my situation would do. I called her up told her I missed her and that I was sorry for everything I had done wrong. I also told her that the time apart made me realize that I love her too. But her reaction shocked me. First she started crying, and then she said she needed time to think, but I was persistent, she told me that she didn’t think she could ever be with me again and that she was just too angry and hurt to get over it but we could be friends. I agreed hoping that by keeping the friendship alive I could revive the relationship but whenever we hung out, I couldn't help but push for more. Finally everything came crashing down, I asked her if she wanted to hang out with me one night and she said yes. Later she canceled because she was going to a work party. So I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me the next day instead. She agreed. But later that night a mutual friend invited me to the same party so I went. She started crying when the moment she saw me. She was furious I was there and wouldn’t even talk to me. She said to just leave her alone and not talk to her anymore. So I left. I called her a few days later and apologized for crashing her party and again pleaded with her to reconsider the relationship. Her answer was the same only this time she said she was talking to someone else now. I started crying and told her I was sorry and I wouldn’t bother her anymore. I’ve made a huge mistake! I want her back, is there anything I can do???
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
Work Up to It
What you gotta do is never tell a girl how you truely feel in desperation, because then she'll know how you feel! She will already have you figured out, and girls for some reason want to keep guessing. They do it to us all of the time. Give her space, and someday just write her a note so she has time to look it over and evaluate whats been written, and how you feel in a calm sense of being, not angry, desperate, or sad, but how your true feelings are all of the time.
hang out with her as friends, and highlight your attributes to her, and show off a bit, but dont hit on her and pretend that youre back together. Work up to it
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