my girlfrend does not talk to me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been with my girl for about 6 months now. we both say we love each other but we fight alot. most of the time the fights are because of stuf that i have done but she will not tell me that i have done something wrong. she waits until she is just fed up and then gets into it with me. the last time we fought was over one of her guy firends that told her that she loves him. she gives him a ride home from work every now and then. she knows i dont like him so lied about but got cought. i don't care if she gives him a ride or not im not going to tell her she cant be firends with him. my problem was that she lied. anyhow can i get her to understand that i u know he is just a firend to her and get her to talk to me when i do are say something she does not like.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
In regards to the friend - what about him do you not like? You need to sit down with her and explain that, in a non-confrontational discussion. Ask her about those traits/actions, as she would know him better then you and might have a valid explanation. (For example, if he tends to hug her too often, it may be a case he does that to all his friend.)
Also explain that you are not wishing for her to end her friendship, but just to understand your view and why you are concerned. Tell her how being truthful about what occurs with this guy can help the relationship.
As for the fact that she won't talk to you about her problems, lead by example, but do so calmly. Don't go into a screaming rage, but just gently bring up if she does something irritating and why it is. Also ask her to do the same, and why doing so would improve your relationship. If you two love each other, this should be simple enough.
It might also help to set a set time per week when you both sit down and open up about your issues with each other, what bothered each other, etc, and how to fix it.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer