She doesn't want to get hurt again
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
rite...about 4 months ago i started to like this girls in my year at school,problem was she had a b/f.I was at a party with my mates and she was at the same party with hers. I started talking 2 her and we ended up exchanging mobile numbers. Over the next month we had long conversations via Text messages. During one of these many convo's she asked me who i was interested in, i told her that i was interested in her but i knew nothing could happen cos she had a b/f.She told me that she liked me 2 and she wanted 2 finish with her b/f.(She did this about 2 weeks after.)We grew closer and closer until but she kept telling me nothing was gonna happen at the moment cos she was still getting over her b/f.I waited and waited. Then finally 1 night we ended up alone at a party...She asked for a kiss and i delivered, we were kissing for about 10mins.The next day i asked her wat was gonna happen between us and she said nothing cos we were good friends and she didn't want to mess that up. I felt really down for a week or so. She then texted me and told me to call her. I did and she asked to take back what she said cos she liked me 2 much for nothing not 2 happen. We got really close again. One night she was meant 2 be coming 2 my house, she cancelled an hour b4 she was meant 2 arrive, and later told me nothing was gonna happen..Again!She told me she wasn't gonna change her mind this time. I felt pretty low for a couple of weeks but started to get over her. But recently we have started 2 get close again, im taking her to the prom and we have attended events outside school together, but im basically scared to say i have feelings 4 her just in case i mess things up and get hurt again. I have spoke to a friend of hers and she said that the reason nothin happened was because she didnt want 2 get hurt again. Im so confussed. Help!!!
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I have actually done that to my boyfriend before. Not on the same leval but generally speaking I have. I really liked him and he knew that and asked me if I wanted to eat lunch with him. I said, "No thanks." And he couldn't figure out why if I liked him so much if i wouldn't go out with him. Then he talked to my best friend. And she told him to give me a little time becasue she can'y bare getting hurt again by another guy. He asked her what she meant ans she proceeded to tell him some of the experiences I have had with guys. He was very understanding and approced me and told me what he had heard. And asked if it was true. I said yes then he told me he wasn't like that person. (won't name his name.)He said he would only go as far as I was comfortable with. So now we have been girlfriend and boyfriend for 1 month and 2 weeks. And I have never been happier. So just give her a little time. She should come around eventually.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer