A Married Man is Chasing Me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been friends with a fellow for a few years now. He is a really sweet man and I care about him alot. The problem is that he is married and I have learned that he has a big crush on me. He calls me and drives by. I've told him that we just have to be friends, but, I cannot get him to understand that. His wife is a sweet lady and I would never say or do anything to hurt her. I don't want to hurt him also because I do care for him as a friend and not as a lover. What should I do?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Tell his wife
If he does not stay away I would tell his wife. I know it sounds horrible but I was in this situation and very vulnerable yet I tried to push him away and asked to leave me alone. I thought he was wonderful but would not think of him in another way since he was married. That is important to me. He then put the moves on me and I told him to leave and go home to his wife. I pushed him away and onthe fourth time I gave in. We did not have sex but it was intense. He freaked out and ran out of the house. I was direct with the things I told him about chasing a women other then your wife and that he crossed a line that made our friendship end. He would not accept it. He was accused of cheating with me by his wife but kept coming back. He felt we would "make love" as he put it but the few times I was trying to just work with our friendship he felt we would and ran away. It was difficult for me because I cared about him and the whole time I told him he needs to seek counseling or he is just a cheater. He said he felt obligated to stay with his wife because she helped him before they were married when he was in trouble. Our friendship ended because his wife received a text I wrote to him saying the behavior needs to stop. His wife grilled him with questions that I he said he kept denying what he did. She had my number yet never called. I was hurt and now question all relationships and if anyone really is faithful. Run away and dont worry about his feelings. In the end he will hurt you any day to save himself.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer