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I believe my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I believe my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. We have been together for a year. I have found a past calendar that he outlined everytime he saw her or heard something about her or when she called him while we were dating. I confronted him and he stopped doing that and assured me that he was not still in love with her.
This weekend I found saved text messages on his phone from over a year ago from her. He has erased all past text messages but these. Is he still obsessed? Is this enough for me to rationally leave him?




User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
Obsessed


Actually, I have been through a situation like this too, and I assumed the worse was going on behind my back. But later I actually found out that the calendar was being kept for far different reasons, he had a domestic violence order against him that the woman had placed on him. That calendar represented every time he had ran into her (anywhere), or when she had called him,saved text when she had text'd him and such. He kept those as verification in case she tried to say he violated the injunction. That was all good, but what I did not know until later speaking and seeing the evidence-is that he had been violating the injunction against him the whole entire time we were together, with this girl he claimed to have nothing more to do with. He was trying to turn it all around on her, although, yes he was very much obsessed with her.

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