Was it wrong?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I know that cheating is wrong and I never entended to cheat on my boyfriend but I did. We've been dating for almost a year and though I love him very much, I was unsure of my feelings for my ex. My ex boyfrind was my 1st everything and I needed to know if I was all the way over him or just in denial so I went to go see him. We had sex but it didn't feel like it used to, there wasn't an emotional connection like how I felt with my current boyfriend.
I now feel like I know for sure there is nothing between us and there is no "what if's." Now i'm happier and more secure in my relationship with my current boyfriend, but was it wrong? Should I have used the just look but don't touch rule even though I felt unsure?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
I strongly disagree with George.
You've only been dating for a year. You are not married. Better you get the "what if's" out of the way now before you get married, have kids, etc... You were brave to confront your emotions, to settle the turbulence before it became a tempest.
I feel it would have been cowardly and inhuman to not confront your emotions, ask yourself how you truly felt. Did you have to sleep with your ex to settle you doubts. Not necessarily. Is the world truly a horrible place since you confronted your emotions and vanquished your doubts? I myself think the world would be a better place if within the first year of dating people would make sure that they are being true to their hearts. I bet you and your boyfriend are much happier since you've vanquished your doubts. Did you have to sleep with your ex to vanquish your doubts. No. But having done so shows me that you are human and actually have a heart. Humans are not property that we throw away when we are done with them.
I do agree with George that now that you know, do not do it again. But it sounds that was the whole point that you learned on your own.
thanks for sharing.
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