My jealousy is ruining our relationship
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 and a half years. I was fine with him talking to girls and everything until shortly after a year of dating when I found out he had lied to me a number of times. They weren't big lies to him but to me they were ( he lied about going to his ex's party who still liked him at the time and I found out by seeing photos of them huggin in the bath with a few other girls, lied about talking to another ex when he went clubbing and lied about talking to loads of girls at a party all of which I saw photos and confronted him about). Since hes lied to me I can't seem to trust him and I get really jealous if he goes out or anything. I know he wouldnt cheat but I cant help but wonder if he was drunk he might be tempted and hes lied to me before so he could lie about it again. Please help cause it's destroying both me and the relationship. Thank you.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Think with your BRAIN
i am going through almost the exact same thing. me and my "ex" (we dont even know) had been together for almost a year now and we broke up about a month ago. 4 days later he was at a party and some drunk girl kissed him and he kissed her back. he says that was all there is to it but i have no idea. there is a lot more to this for reasons why i shouldnt trust him and they are building up on me. i dont know what to do. i love him so much and he wants me back but the image of him with another girl keeps getting in the way and i just end up crying my self to sleep everynight. i wish he could understand me and how i feel. i asked him to not put himself in those kind of situations anymore or else i wouldnt take him back and he sai, "i.. dont know". not going to parties is a small price to pay for getting the girl you supposedly loved back after what you did. he doesnt understand that. and now when hes not with me i just have this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. what could he be doing? its unbarable and i dont know how to deal with it. one thing i know for sure that we MUST do is to think with your BRAIN and not your heart because if you think with your heart you're letting your emotions get in the way of what you should really do. dont underestimate situations because chances are that if you're stressing about them then there's probably a reason.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer