My last attempt, how should I do it?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
There's a girl, a friend, that I have been stuck on for a while. I've waited for her through two of her boyfriends and one day I finally got the guts to tell her my feelings for her, but she told me that she saw me as a friend and that I liked her more than she liked me so she chose some other guy over me, she said she loved this guy then a month later she broke up with him. I've been really hooked on this girl for about 4 years now, I've tried to see other girls but she's just on my mind always. After I expressed my feelings for her, I've stepped back and not talked to her as much as I used to, but that makes me want her more. I've already tried once and failed, but something in me wants to give one more final try but im hesitant about it. I feel I have messed up because I have asked her to hook me up with one of her friends, but that was just to try and forget her and get over her but it didn't work. I don't know if that hurts my chances and if it does, how do I let her know the true intentions I had in doing that? I can't really rest untill I go after her one last time. I think of her night and day and its rediculous that I can't move on. I want to be more than her friend and able to change her mind. How do I get her to take me more serious? How do I win her heart and show her that im different? How do I show her that I gave waited without sounding obsessed? I really like this girl, what should I do about this? What would be the best way to express all this to her, its my last go at it and I want to make it count and be special.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Really into them
Hmm, if in your heart you truly believes that she, as a friend, really cares about you, then you might have a chance. Otherwise, I think you might be wasting your time. If you're only "just another friend" to her, then just leave. Stop seeing her. If you go to same place to work, etc, I'd just quit that. (unless its school which might be harder...)
I think I've been in a sort-of similar situation before. I kept telling myself "one last time" but there always seemed to be one more. In the end I just left. (Following someone else's advice here) and I've met wonderful new people since then.
As I grew up I've found that girls who were on my mind always but only thought of me as "just another guy friend", to not really care about how I feel. Sure, they enjoy my company and tell me all sorts of stuff, but I'm not too important to them.
There ARE going to be women who truly cares about you even if you're just a friend to them. That means, including, reluctantly agreeing to go out with you even if they aren't romantically interested, doing it just to keep you from getting hurt ; because they know how much you feel for them. (although you're probably not supposed go ahead with it if that happens.... unless you're really really really, really really really into them.).
I wish you all the best!
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