I hate not knowing what is going on.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been with my Fiance for a little over 2 and 1/2 years. I work until 11pm monday - friday. He works day shift monday - friday. I called him Friday night while I was on my dinner break and he wasn't home so I tried his cell phone. He answered and I asked him where he was and he said he was at the bar with a few friends from work. He works an hour away and that is where he was drinking. I asked the names of the friends and he listed off three men and three woman. He said "don't worry I will be home before you are". I also asked him why he didn't let me know he was going to the bar and he said that it came up last minute. This is the first time since we have been together that he has gone out to the bar with friends at the spur of the moment. Especially because he has an hour drive home. I am very upset about this but I don't know why...is it because of the drive, trust issues, not knowing any of the friends, etc.? How should I approach it? I do not want him to think that he can never go out without me, but I hate not knowing what is going on. Thanks!
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
i have the same problems with my husband i work an hour and a half away from home, not to mention we are both military so we dont see eachother very often. sometimes i will call him and he doesnt answer his phone and i wonder what hes doing and i start letting my mind wonder. it got so bad that i started calling his friends asking them to pretty much keep an eye on him. i felt almost pathetic for doing that. i came to the conclusion that i do that because im insecure about myself, so i started taking care of myself. i began dressing up even to go to the store, exercising and keeping myself looking good. the biggest thing was keeping myself busy and its working i dont worry about what hes doing so much and i dont ask so many questions and our marriage has been better. so just take care of yourself treat yourself and make yourself feel better about yourself, fill your day with hobbies.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer