Desperate for help
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
Ok, so my crisis all began when I was a little kid (if I didn't tell the full story, the qestion would be impossible to answer). I was raised a Christian and am now 15.
As I was growing up, I was a perfect little angel spreading the word of God and always happy. But as grew up, my dad became a wrse father to me by being a real hard-ass to me by terrifying me with his yelling and getting mad for absolutely no reason and punishing me unfairly. As I grew up with this, I became a more dark person with a warped mind and now that I dont want him in my life, he tries to make up for it by buying me things, though sometimes he'll become a hard-ass again. To me, the words "I'm sorry" dont change the past.
As I went through school, I was bullied, teased, beat up, mocked, and tortured rom the inside-out. So now I am a dark person with a warped mind and am somewhat evil in heart.
In eighth grade, I became friends with a girl and we talked a few times a week. I was always so busy in my work that I never thought about getting a girl-friend. But at the end of my eighth grade year, another friend of mine that was also a girl came up to me and told me that, now m ex, had a crush on meand that my ex had no idea shewas talking to me and telling me this. So I went to see my ex. She told me that she sent her friend to study my reaction, she then started to cry and said that it was a mean trick and she'd understand if I never wanted to see her again. I re-assured her that my feelings weren't hurt and that everything was fine. I let the idea of us going out simmer in my head for few days untill I asked her out over myspace in a romantic love note that compared her to angels and heaven and talked about her beauty. The next day, I got a reply saying that that was the nicest thing she'd ever heard and she'd love to go out with me.
So, like every couple, we had both similarities and differences. We thought we were more alike than different, though everyone else thought we wre more different than we were similar. And we went out for a month before she had one of her friends call me to teel me she was breaking up with me. I instantly called her and she was heavilly crying. She told me that she was breaking up with me and she couldn't stand to her my voice and raction when I first geard the news, so she had friend call. I asked her why, and her official reason was, "We never get to see eachother, when I'm busy you.re free and when I'm free you're busy. I don't want us to get serious and our relationship end in ruin and it hurt that much more."
In that month we went out, I experienced happiness beyond beleif. I felt as if I had a door presented infront of me of which I could escape the darkness and live in the light, but now more than ever, the dark is my best friend.
So I decided the only way for me to ever be happy again is o move on and get another girlfriend, but not straight away, I waited a year to move on. And I asked another girl out that I knewe real well. And she said she'd love to date me. The week after she said yes, her birthday came along. So I found out her favorite color, and I bought her a beautiful ice pink glass diamond with a silver stand and display case and wrote her a note telling her she was the diaond in my eye and the love of my life. A few days later, I was looking at her profil on myspace and saw under "status" it said that she had a boyfriend. So I jokingly messaged her and said that I say she had a boyfriend from her status and jokingly asked her if there was something she had to tell me, she said yes, I hav another boyfriend, we were going out almost a week before you asked me out. And in that week we "went out" she always had a church related excuse to not go do something with me.
After all of this, I just don't know what to do. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? All I want more than anything i mu ex back, we lved being together, bu she doesnt want me back.
I'm sory that this letter was so long but I thought you need to know the full story to be able to make a rational decision.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
I think that you just found the wrong women and they don't see how nice you really are. Keep tryin and if you ever feel dark try listening to music. I feel really bad for you but also those chicks will one day too.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer