Dealing with Insecurity
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I really need help dealing with my insecurity. I have been with a girl that I know I am going to marry and she feels the same about me. And I know for a fact that she loves me and that I am most important to her and that she would never look elsewhere. However, whenever she chooses to do something with her friends instead of talk to me I feel like she is getting sick of me and that I am not most important to her. And then I go into a whole "need for reassurance" thing. I automatically assume the worst of her actions. My insecurity makes me almost expect something bad when deep down I know there is no evidence to support that conclusion. As a matter of fact it is exactly the opposite. She is trying to do everythingshe can to show that she loves me and that I am the most important, but no matter what she does I always seem to see it the wrong way.
Please Help me!!! I am driving my soul-mate away with petty arguments that result from my insecurity. How can I think positive thoughts? How can I overcome the need to be constantly reassured that she loves me? I am out of college and she is still in college (320 miles away). I am having a hard time with her having so little time and me having alot more to spend on her (letters, e-mails, packages). I take that lack of time to extremes as well. I figure if she has 2 hours of free time she should spend at least 1 hour of it talking to me on the phone and 1 hour visiting friends (even if she has 10 friends to visit all over campus) and she should always visit her friends after she has called me, because I HAVE to be her PRIORITY. Every action she takes has to scream that out loud or I start feeling iinsecure. I really need help with this. What used to be perfect, happy conversations have become bitter arguments over NOTHING AT ALL!!
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
Wife is like that
People have to trust in there spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.
My wife is like this she really needs some help but won't admit it
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer