He wont talk to me, and I dont know why
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i developed a serious relationship starting when i was 16, it lasted for 3 1/2 years, and it recently ended about 2 months ago. I am not completely crushed and seriously depressed.
The thing is.. he's been avoiding me.. and all i want to do is be friends, because he means that much to me.. i just couldn't stand not to have him in my life. But he wont talk to me, and I dont know why. That's why i'm all depressed today, because I called him on the phone, and he told me he had no desire to talk to me and hung up.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Do you care?
The first thing you need to do is clearly understand that you are not him and he is not you. What would work for and be expected of you is not necessarily the same for him. You need to gain a perspective closer to his to understand what he's going through emotionally and then how to address that. This will take time and _real_ effort on your part and his.
He probably doesn't trust you at this point. Where as it may be a simple matter for you to have split from him, it was not for him. He may have had future hopes and dreams tied up in his belief of the relationship you two had. Did you two speak and _clearly_ share your individual dreams and hopes for the future? A year from now, 5 years? If you didn't, then you had less understanding about each other than you thought.
Okay, enough of could haves and should haves.
You need to be willing to take responsibility for your actions and clearly state that he needs to be willing to take responsibility for his. If you two can do that then you have a chance at rebuilding a friendship. But you also both have to agree _verbally_ what "friendship" means in expected actions.
What can you immediately do?
If you can find a mutual friend or adult that is neutral and cares about both of you you could go to them and ask for their help in getting him to come to a neutral area and talk. You have to be sorry and prove it by your actions.
But it depends on whether or not it's really important to you or you don't really care.
It's up to you.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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