After 3 years she still doesn't talk to me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This all started in the summer of 2004. I was 14 back then. I met a girl in the park where i used to play football with my friends and we became good friends. She was 13. we spent nearly every afternoon playing together or just talking. I also noticed that she had a crush on me, i heard her wispering with her friends about that on my back several times, but i didn't see her that way. So for me everything was fine. And she was very shy so she never told me that. On th 23rd of december, at the same park i fell in love with her when we shared a "have a good xmas" hug. We both liked eachother, yet we were shy to discuss that. On that same xmas i got my first cell phone and on the first weekend of 2005 i gave my cell number to her younger brother. The day after i started to receive anonymous calls and always hang on me, and then not anonymously. Yet, i knew that had to be her, but the person never wanted to tell me. Back at school, i asked for her cell number, she didn't want to give it to me. and i even had her friends numbers. She was shy, so i played along and didn't ask it again. I only really discovered that was her number by march, i was in class and got a call from it and i heard her and her friends talking and laughthing but they didn't hear me talking to them. the cell was unblocked and must have accidentally called me. I said that to her and she admitted. We kept cool, although we knew more than ever what we wanted. But as i said we were shy, specially her. On easter we spent the whole day hanging and texting. Until late at night when she sent me a text saying "can i go to sleep now?" i told her "good night. i love you" she freaked out. after that it was never the same. she didn't want to be around me, she got very embarassed. And her friends started to joke with her often with that. She didn't want to see me again. I tried to talk with her but she didn't want to be alone with me. I was sad but i understood, she never had a boyfriend or kissed someone. And time passed and she was still unconfortable around me. So i did something stupid. I pretended to like her best friend to get her attention. and it did in a negative way. We didn't talk much after that and in the end of the year i changed school and we lost personal contact. Only chatted online, just normal talk about how was your day and stuff. But she was still angry at me. and we lost total contact. Now she only speaks with me to say hi on the street. I thought this could be just a crush, but more than 3 years have passed and i still think about her almost everyday. I am 18 now and she is 17. I know she hasn't been in any serious relationship in these years. So recently i tried several times to conctact her in msn but she ignores me. I don't know what else to do to get friends with her again and maybe try something but i can't reach her. I don't know if i should try to speak with her face to face because she might get angry at me again. Any help would be appreciated since i can't do it on my own.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Talk and hang out
Wait, I`d like to say that I have the same exact problem as you. I`m 17 right now and I have been in love with this guy since the 7th grade, he`s 18 right now. We have the same problem too, he knew ever since 7th grade that I liked him. I was always so shy, but in 8th grade I asked him out and he had his friends help him ask me out, I thought it was weird especially since he can get girls on his own. His friends were telling me he likes me. He`s had alot of girlfriends & even when he`s in a relationship w/them, it still seems he likes me. I would sent him letters, do msn but he wouldnt talk to me much there, text him,call him but not really talk to him, etc...all except actually talking to him in person. I understand and feel what you`re going through and its nice to hear the guy`s version of it. I sometimes get confused whether he likes me or not, In his eyes he looks at me w/a longing look. I never been in relationship, but I was almost in 1 w/my best friend of 5 yrs. from elementary except he wanted to be w/another girl & I thought he liked me. Maybe he did cuz he looked sad after I stopped talking to him and when he moved away. I also tried to go on dates with other guys as well, but there was always something that cancelled our plans & we would be just friends again. I mean I have of alot of guy friends and I can be w/them, but when its him its like I can`t, I really want to change that. Anyways, I think its because she feels she`s not good enough for you that you can better. I feel like that to him and I just want the best for him. I dont feel like I`m right for him I mean if I can`t even talk to him in a normal way what are my chances w/him in a relationship. I feel like that annoying shy girl who wont let go of him bcuz there`s no-one else for me or something like that. Right now I`m really trying to bring my confidence cuz he`s really trying to talk to me and I just turn away. I feel so bad for that, I really want to be with him and make him happy. I`m so sorry, but I do hope this really helps you out or even alittle bit on what she might be thinking. Thanks for letting me what he might thinking. Just try talking and hanging with her all the time so she can get used to you and open up more, I`d surely like this to happen w/my guy. Make her laugh, help her, and have fun w/her to break the ice between you guys k. Good Luck!
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!