Obsessed with love
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 17 years old, and ever since I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 weeks (I was being dumb and emotional), I started reading love novels. (Note: I don't think it really has anything to do with why I started reading love novels, but I have no idea) Even before then I was watching chick flicks such as "A Walk to Remember." Any movie that made me cry I would buy and watch a million times. So after I found romance novels, I started buying and checking out a million of them. I would go through at least 4 a week. They were usually all contemporary, and I would go far lengths to get a new book by my favorite author. Lately I think this is becoming a problem. I am back into movies and it somewhat freaks me out. I watched "The Notebook" and I cried my eyes out at the end, but I was fascinated in the beginning when Noah and Allie were falling in love. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I watched the movie a few times but I had to return it. It was like I was addicted to it because I felt as if I was having withdrawals. All I keep thinking about is how hard I would have fallen if I was her, or what would I have done in a situation like that etc... I get light headed and my heart races and my face gets flushed. Then as another example to strenthen my question, I just recently watched "Say Anything." This was probably the worst I've ever been obsessed with a certain situation. When I watched it the first time, I loved it. I loved it so much, guess what, I watched it again. But I couldn't stop thinking about it like inside of school or when I was at work. I would think about when they were kissing or telling eachother they loved eachother. When I watched that movie, it gave me chills and I got light headed and my heart raced as well. But this is what I look for. I noticed I might have an emotional problem because I was watching a heavy make out scene, and I started crying. It was almost like an overload. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, but I just can't stop thinking about love, and I'm only 17 for crying out loud!
I guess my real question is what exactly is wrong with me? Why do I spend hours at a time looking for movies such as Say Anything and The Notebook, and become obsessed with the characters falling in love? No one my age is like this. I feel like I should be having fun and no serious relationships, but I most definitely want to find true love. It might be the idea of some of the movies I watch, I have no idea. I just feel somewhat sick (meaning like headaches, sadness somewhat) and I want to not have to think about love all the time.
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Dear Romance addict,
you are not alone. And I understand that what you feel is both beautiful and destructive at the same time. I would suggest two things. First, I think you could write and channel all your thoughts, take control of them. Make up your own characters, but be mindful not to make them totally unrealistic. Forge the person you want to fall in love with in your story. Perhaps this will give you an outlet to put up all you vented frustration. If it doesn't work, perhaps talking to someone about it will help.
And if all else fails, know that it will pass. That being said I'm nearly 35 and I've had a few of these episodes in my life. I never know when they are going to come on. It's strange and tied in to hormones somehow. It's tormenting but I'd rather feel then be numb.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer