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We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
Ok this is a "Flirting/Friendship" catergory question but after looking through endless advice lists in this section I don't feel any more enlightened. My question is going to need a bit of backround information so sorry it's going to be long.

I met this girl almost four years ago when I was a senior in highschool and she was a freshman. I never asked her out. We always stayed in contact and about a eight months ago we really started hanging out again. Her boyfriend, of almost 3 years, went off to college and they stayed together but we never stopped hanging out. We hung out all summer when he came back. She got a job where I work so now we see each other alot more. He went back to college in august. About two weeks ago a few things happened and she caught me off guard and told me that she likes me, alot, being very shocked I didn't say anything and hadn't said anything to her. About a week ago I put aside my stupidity and asked her out. We went to dinner and had a nice night and I told her how I felt about her. She told me that she wishes we could be together and that it would be "awsome" if we were to ever date, during which she was brought to tears. She then proceeds to say "I wish my boyfriend would like somebody so he knows how I feel." Whats that suppose to mean? Now that I'm a bit dumbfounded she tells me that he knows that she likes me and has liked me(I wish someone would have brought me in on the loop a little bit earlier) but he's never done anything or said anything to me or her about us. I bring her home and she, choking back the tears, asks me for a hug and that if we could stay friends through this. I tell her we will. End Date: Now

Insert: Ball of Confusion. Since our date we haven't talked at all about the obvious issue at hand. She's gone from semi-flirting with me to a full on assult and I've said all that to ask this. What does she want from me? Where do I stand in all of this? Why would she go from saying she wants to be friends to flirting with me? They seem like generic questions but I ask because I've been on the sidelines watching, I get in the game for a 3 hour dinner date, put back on the sidelines. Is she calling me back to play in the BIG GAME? or am I just playing substitute boyfriend again?




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male

well like gorge said, it's all about communications. Someone once said: Women are meant to be loved not understood! If u try to figure out everything by urself, u gotta wait long, if not ever.

I suggest u explain to her the situation as u can see it. Ask her what she wants and that she's gonna have to decide about it herself and u are only here to make her see what she can't.

Well u gotta make her understand that u dont like this "cheating" or "back-stabing" the other guy, coz that ain't gentleman at all. So tell u what she wants and of cause break-up with the other guy, like gorge said, if she chooses you...

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