we both want each other, but someone holds him back
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
so i just really want to see what you think about this situation.
i started working at this one hookah bar with my best friend, and we got close as friends with everyone there, one of the guys took me out for my birthday just as friends, cuz i was talking to someone else at the time, and so was he
but he made it romantic, he got a bottle of wine, he made me close my eyes, took me to the lake, took out a cake with 20 candles and wine in glasses, nd it was one of the most memorable days. we both left back to the bar after that, and neither one of us thought of i as a date, i dont know how he felt, but he says he didnt think of it as date and didnt like me as a girl then!.
one thing led to another, and i stoped talking to the guy i used to talk to, i told the other guy about this,the one who took me out. and in two days he kissed me!. after that we couldnt get each other out of our heads, we talked everyday, he works from 11am to 2am every day at parents business and after that he came to see me everyday. we were so much a like and everythng was great, but the first week we got close he told me about this other girl that he still has feelings for and she was first, and they dont talk but when they do he gets the feelings back, and thats why he cant commit, since me and him been talking she hasent been in the picture til friday two days ago. he told me i make him feel like no one else did, that im different from her, and he wants to contnue with me and he doesnt want to be with her, just their familys are friends and she will always be there. i cut everything off with him yesterday, but he has been texting me today the whole day and then he picked me up to talk. he said he doesnt want to hurt me, but he wants to be with me, but he cant promise anything cuz the girl i still there. so we decided that we will take time off and not talk cuz i cant be friends wth some one i think i fell for so bad that i physiclly hurts me. i think im in love! its an indescribable feeling, i miss him already it only been 3 hours since he left. i dont know if forever or no. but we thought that if its meant to be then we will both see in a period of time if we will miss each other. i wont be able to take it, cuz i work for his bes friends! he is always there, and not kiss him and hug him is pain.
what to do? how to bring him back1 he is still here, its just he is confused and doesnt know what he wants and so am i, we both dont want to hurt each other, cuz both are not sure if we can committ
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
well.....same is the case with me...but the only difference is that we hvn't kissed each other yet but ya confessed that we our in love,....his gf broke up wid him few months earlier.bt he still have her in her mind....n said that dis time he is not going to commit nething..which definately hurted me..bt i truly love him.....thats why in my opinion PATIENCE is the only solution...you just be true to him from your side....dont compare yourself with her.make him feel comfortable with you..or do something so dat he should'nt remember her........and make him believe that you really love him......n win his heart......
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