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How to be part of the conversation and topics to talk about.



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am a fairly shy person, in particular around people I don't really know. I usually let people talk over me. Do you have any advice on how I can get her alone or be included in the conversation? Also, I have trouble thinking on the spot with girls I like because I get flustered. Do you have any topics you would suggest that are fairly safe?
Thanks a lot




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
On her heart


I may only be 17 (18 in January), but I have much knowledge in this situation having lived it myself.
I see that you are shy, I can totally relate. I used to be so quiet and not want my thoughts heard I would learn the ways teachers picked kids to speak and I would work my way to not being picked. The thing I noticed was wrong was that I feared being wrong. I got a job over the summer which kinda forced me to open up and now I am much louder. I am using my ADHD to its full advantage, lol.
You may have to watch from the sidelines for a little bit to see when she is alone.
Trust me thinking on the spot with a girl you like is very hard, you just need to plan on a phrase you will say to her before you actually see her. Once you get the first phrase out it will flow like a river. I used something that happened in class to spark the first conversation I had with the girl I like. Just don't wait too long to have a conversation. If you get the opportunity to talk to her take it. A recent conversation I had with her was because I saw her fall over and I just asked her about it and it continued for about a minute. Its the simple things you have to look for. Things like her hair looking nice or falling over on accident, something friends would talk about.
ONE IMPORTANT THING I MUST TELL YOU, NEVER RUSH! The moment you get cocky is the moment you fall off the thin path. Just take it easy, a few conversations here and there. But don't take it to slow either. Eventually you will make it to the end of your path and the trophy will be you on her heart.

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