Should I Call? Should He Call?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Here is the situation, I really need some advice. I met a guy through mutual friends at a few parties I saw him around and he always tried to talk to me but I was dating someone so I blew him off. Finally, I was single, and heard he invited us to a party and he had asked a friend of mine about me, saying he was interested. I ended up going and we danced, talked, and had a great time!!! I left early with my friends and made plans to see him the next night.
The next night he met us at a party as well, and we ended up dancing and drinking ALOT and hanging out all night. Well to make a long story short we ended up having sex that night and it felt right (even though I know this was a little too soon). I really felt a connection.
For the next 2 weeks we were in a whirlwind romance, all our friend knew we were falling for eachother and we were going to movies, dinner, and having great sex! He started back at college and had to work every weekend, all weekend so he was busy, and slowly started to not call me much at all, but once a week.
Finally, i told him I did not want to get too attached, as I was, cause he had this job every weekend, for 5 weeks. I ended up seeing him at a party the 4th week of his "work" during the week, and he was telling me "Why havent I called?" he wants me to be his girl, he thinks I am so pretty, he likes everything about me, and explained the only reason he had not called is because I said I did not want to get too attached.
We hung out all night and when it was time for us to normally have sex, I said I thought it would be a better idea if I just went home. He was confused and called me twice on my way home trying to invite me to come back. I declined, he was very intoxicated. He told me he would call me next week and we would do something.
The next day i wrote him a letter, saying that I did not want just a booty call, I did not want a husband, just someone I can trust that can trust me, I am not a piece of meat, and I really think we have a good connection and the reason i did not stay with him the last night was because he was drunk and saying sweet things I did not know if they were true, and I did not want to become attached, for him to not call me another week!
Well, I am glad I did that because another week and a half has gone by and he has still not called me. Should I call him? We have mutual friends and they all tell me he likes me. This is the last day of his work so he will be free for the weekends now, should I let him call me? How should I even act when he does? Should I act like a sweet, normal friend? or should I confront why he did not call? or should I be a bitch and say screw this? Please HELP, Thanks =)
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
I am in the same situation I met this guy and we had so much fun, I had sex with him, then we hung out again we had nothing but fun and we like eachother alot. Well 4 days now he has not called and I am wondering at this staege should I call him, well After reading this I called him and no answer so I left a Message - Like hey I know i have not called in a couple of days I have been busy as you are also, but wanted to touch base with you call me when you get a min. Well I wanted to keep it casual although our sex was not casual, I am scared that I did the wrong thing by calling him but how does one know if no one steps up in this situation. No if he dont call I wont call him again!! I will be upset about it but hey what am I going to do...
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer