how do i overcome jealousy
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I didnt really date for that long, we've been together for about 8 months and now we live toegether it kind of just happened and we're completely happy about it. My problem is that im a very jelous and controlling girlfriend. I belive is because I was sexually abused when I was a young girl and because my mom has never had a stabled relationship and no one around me has. Also my parents separated when i was a year and half old and hes never really acted like a father to me i talk 2 him around twice a year. I also have a physical difference which is small but i have been made jokes about when younger. Back to my relationship Ive always been very controlling and jelous maybe because ive been cheated on before and i think the possiblity of being cheated on is so big i cant trust anyone. My boyfriend and I love each other very much. We dont go any where, we go to work and come home and thats our life which we both agreed is fine. And as a couple we dont really go anywhere, we both dont really have a social life anymore and thats how it usually works out better or else my jelousy and controlling manners really kick in and he says he doesnt mind the way things are. I get mad REALLY easily so we have LOTS of stupid fights and we're both stubborn. I obsess about things like ex-girlfriends. Im an insecure person and hes overly confident. Hes also not the easiest person to try and reason with. We really want to make it work and we always say we're gonna try but we always fall back to old habits. How can we better our relationship?
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Can't control anger
I have the same problem in my relationship, i cant control my anger and things between us are going down. I spied on his laptop and found out he was talking to an exgf, it was a normal convo, however when she askd about what was the best thing he had had in the past year he mentioned everything except for me. I can't deal with it, and i'm sure if I say another word cause im jealous, we're done. No matter what, this is about helping each other, and the only solution to not being quiet because im afraid of arguing angain with him is writting things down. Do it you'll feel good.
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