Does She like me Or just using me?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been Dating this girl from work for about 4 months already. Eeverything started as a friendship but very flirtacious, like heading somewhere else. We have great communication since the beginning. We talk for hours and can spend together a whole life time if necessary without getting bored. But she doesn't want committment. We respect each other in every way and while talking to each one another we dont date other people nor go out with our regular friends as much. Our sex life is the greatest and my parents love her as well as her parents like me. We do everything as boyfriend and girlfriend. She is always there for me when I need her and I am always there for her when she needs me. she is my last and first call of the day as well as i am hers. When we are alone with my friends or family she acts like my girlfriend. she is also presented as one and she doesn't mind at all. However in front of her parents or her friends she changes completely and she acts like am just a regular friend. Recently I got tired already of that situation of the double personality and i told her that is better for us not to continue. She was very sad about it and just said that she didn't want a relationship but that she really felt like I give her something she never had before and she doesn't want to stop our relationship. What should I do? This is the perfect girl for mom and dad, only child, family oriented, only 1 boyfriend etc. She is 19 and I am 22. Does she really like me or does she just want to play around? It really doesn't seem like it at all when we are alone or with my folks or friends. Only at her place or with her friends . Am confused. Should I end it? or give her more time? It took me some time for her to open up to me since her last boyfriend cheated on her and they were going out for 4 years. Can that be the issue? PLease help
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
You are in one heck of a situation. Sound exactly like mine. I have known this women for 3 years now. When I need her she is there, and when she needs me I am there. Over the years, I have heard all about her other boy friends and how crappy she treats them. She cries me crying when they break up or have a fight. We have so many rumors about us, and we constantly ask each other why we dont make the rumors true. Last year I went to Baghdad, before I left she was very close to me. The night before I left she came over my apartment(I got divorced over her) and we cuddled on my couch. Well while I was in Baghdad she dumped one guy she complained to me about and got back together with another guy that she complained about. She told me that she did not want lose me as a friend. Well fast forward to today. I have hinted around to her that I want her as more of a friend, but when I begin to push it, she asks me if I really want to risk our friendship over a relationship.
I am to the point where I am tired of hereing her problems, hereing her tell me about guys that she is dating.
I say its time to move on before you get in my position!!!
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer