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I just do want to move too fast and scare her away…



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am a 24 male who just ended a 5 year relationship 5 months ago, She is a 24 year old female who just ended a 7 year relationship 8 months ago and she has a 4 year old son.

We have known each other since high school, I have been crazy about her since the day we met and she has had a thing for me since then also. We had a chance to get together in high school but neither of us did anything about it. Well about 3 weeks ago at a friend’s house she showed up and was planning to stay the night there and I was also. We were about to go to sleep and she deiced that it was to cold to sleep alone so she slept with me on a futon. Than it happened about 20 mins. after we laid down we were kissing the whole time she was questioning me if I was ready for this and said yes because I am. She asked if I was going to wake up tomorrow and regret everything that happened and I said no. The next morning we woke up and went our separate ways and I text her asking if she regretted it and she said no not at all. We spent one other night together and than the next time I saw her after that she said, I don’t know if I am ready for this yet. We talked for about 2 hours about this and in between talking she kept saying I want to kiss you so bad but I feel like I shouldn’t, but we did anyways. After that I talked to her only once in about a 5 day period. Then one night she calls me out of the blue and said her sister and some of her friends were going up to this bar by my house and she wanted me to come. I went and ended up giving her a ride home, on the ride home she kissed me and said I was just scared because things were happening a little fast for me, I want to do this but lets just take it SLOW. Since than I have seen her a few times and when we are together it is great and she has even told me that she loves spending time with me. Last Thursday we went out for some drinks and than back to her place and we had sex. Yesterday I was at her place all day and she introduced me to her son. I guess I am a little unsure about how things are supposed to be when she says slow. Do you the fact the we had sex changes anything? I am just a little confused because I really like her and think things are going great I just do want to move to fast and scare her away…





User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
Don't move too slow


From a male point of view, this looks rather strange: Guy meets girl, kiss and have sex, go out on date. There is no particular order this should go in, but most men are used to guy meets girl, go out on dates, kiss (if you are lucky), and if you really lucky, have sex. However, unlike guys, sex does not mean everything to some women. Most women go for the gold.

For a woman that has been in a serious relationship and have a child, she may be thinking about marriage or something more on the long term. Believe me, you will not scare her away by moving too fast, in this case. You will scare her away by moving too slow. To me, this looks like a golden opportunity to be with someone that really loves you. What you do with this chance is up to you.

Hope this answers your question!



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