Long distance relationship argument.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been talking to this girl constantly over the phone for the better part of a year now. We have seen eachother on webcam and know eachother pretty well. We talk almost all night throughout the week.
Background - I am 19, she turned 22 very recently. She lives by herself and her life is a bit stressful as currently she is jobless and has bills she may not be able to pay off. I am also unemployed but have my parents currently, she does not have anyone to lean on financially such as me.
She has been stressed as of late because of this. Today was April Fools, and I called her out of the normal time I would to surprise her. She played an April Fools joke on me after I specifically told her not to. She basically said she was drunk one night and kissed some other guy. After she heard me flipping out for a few seconds she said April Fools and I hung up the phone.
I didn't need that emotional rollercoaster even if it was a joke. I called her back that night hoping what was done was in the past. Apparently not. I could tell she was still upset because she answered the phone saying "Why are you calling me, you hung up on me?"
Well she basically told me I frustrated her because she is so stressed out with other things and I just added to that stress.
Ive got a nickname I always call her and she claims she doesn't like it, but only 5% of the time it bothers her. She says its the same situation with the April Fools joke, I asked you not to do it and if you do I will hang up. I didn't do it, but to me the situations were completely different.
Anyways, after a breif moment of silence she asked if I had anything to say, and after her last comment about the nickname I said "I have nothing to say to you right now." So then she said so why are we on the phone, I said I don't know, then she said "Well bye" and I said "Yeah" and just hung up.
Sorry if that was long --
My question / problem is that I do not plan on calling her back. I want to wait for her to call me. I don't want to seem as if I am crawling back to her or anything like that. I really want her to call me back to mend things, as I think it would help solidify the idea that she truly cares for me. Now, what if she doesn't call back for a long period of time? A week perhaps with no contact?
That is just what I plan on doing, and I would like to know if you think I should follow up on it, or take a different approach to the situation. Also any other advice on how to handle possible future situations would be greatly appreciated.
So sorry this is long, but I really would like someones opinion that is aware of the current situation.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
I'm in a long distance relationship too, we're both young but love each other very much. Neither of us had ever had such a connections with anyone before. Even though we knew he was moving we went for it anyway. We've been together 11 months on the 13th May. Anyway! When i started reading this i was thinking my boyfriend was writing it, me and him talk on the phone every night for hours sometimes. We've had big fights and lots of tiny fights. The fight you've explained here seems like a small one, I wouldn't sweat it that much. It would make me very upset if he pulled a prank on me like that. I would also want to call my boyfriend and not wait for him to call me, and also feel the way you do, you want her to call you back. I've been through this kind of thing. And he always called me back. If you guys talk every night, she's used to that, and likes it, she'll more than likely call you back. In the mean you should occupy yourself with an activite you like to do to occupy your mind away from calling her first.
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