Long distance relationship argument.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been talking to this girl constantly over the phone for the better part of a year now. We have seen eachother on webcam and know eachother pretty well. We talk almost all night throughout the week.
Background - I am 19, she turned 22 very recently. She lives by herself and her life is a bit stressful as currently she is jobless and has bills she may not be able to pay off. I am also unemployed but have my parents currently, she does not have anyone to lean on financially such as me.
She has been stressed as of late because of this. Today was April Fools, and I called her out of the normal time I would to surprise her. She played an April Fools joke on me after I specifically told her not to. She basically said she was drunk one night and kissed some other guy. After she heard me flipping out for a few seconds she said April Fools and I hung up the phone.
I didn't need that emotional rollercoaster even if it was a joke. I called her back that night hoping what was done was in the past. Apparently not. I could tell she was still upset because she answered the phone saying "Why are you calling me, you hung up on me?"
Well she basically told me I frustrated her because she is so stressed out with other things and I just added to that stress.
Ive got a nickname I always call her and she claims she doesn't like it, but only 5% of the time it bothers her. She says its the same situation with the April Fools joke, I asked you not to do it and if you do I will hang up. I didn't do it, but to me the situations were completely different.
Anyways, after a breif moment of silence she asked if I had anything to say, and after her last comment about the nickname I said "I have nothing to say to you right now." So then she said so why are we on the phone, I said I don't know, then she said "Well bye" and I said "Yeah" and just hung up.
Sorry if that was long --
My question / problem is that I do not plan on calling her back. I want to wait for her to call me. I don't want to seem as if I am crawling back to her or anything like that. I really want her to call me back to mend things, as I think it would help solidify the idea that she truly cares for me. Now, what if she doesn't call back for a long period of time? A week perhaps with no contact?
That is just what I plan on doing, and I would like to know if you think I should follow up on it, or take a different approach to the situation. Also any other advice on how to handle possible future situations would be greatly appreciated.
So sorry this is long, but I really would like someones opinion that is aware of the current situation.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
hey man, i can see where both of you are coming from, me ans my boyfriend are ina long distanace realtionship and we have it out too. There are times when he maked me mad and we argue like to the extreme and we don't tell each over we love each other like we would normally do. But we don't talk foe the rest of the night and many nights after that. It;s always up to me if we talk, b/c he is always the first one to call, but i don;'t answer his phine calls even though i am holding my phone seeing that he is calling right at that very moment. I just feel so mad ansd fustrated and hurt when i thonk about our fight, it makes me hate in but in a love hate situation. I'm not gonna lye to you i really do be missing him terribly, and when i do think about when he didn't tell me that he loves me like he would normally do, really hurts. So i'm going to speak for all y=the girls when i tell you this, we do care about you guys and we do miss you guys terrible even though we don't admit to it, we always feel that wayfor you guys, no matter what, ya'll do hur us when we fight, even though it may not seem like we show ir but it really does.of course we want to make ya'll wait and want us and want to talk to us but it really do be killing us inside, really, so take my advice and call her, she might be acting all big and bad and defensive at first but deep down she really missed and and couldn't get her mind of of you. If you think that by calling her you are her (b***h), and that your very sensitive your wrong, it just mean you care about her, you love her, you miss the sound of her voice when you two talk, the way she laughs and makes you laugh, and in generally just missing her, and everything about her.So my advice to you is call her, even if she doesn;t answer your call she will know that you called and i bet she will return your call right back, but be ready to talk about what went down and how you guys are feeling about it and how ya'll are feeling right now! I hope that i have helped you nit only with my advice that i gave you but with an actually true littkle story about my boyfriend and i!
a friend who cares and always will! :)
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer