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Trying so hard to heal, is it worth it?



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. Our relationship for the most part was great. I never doubted him once. I recently found out that he had cheated on me. Something I had suspected shortly before I found out. My natural reaction was "it's over it's done" and I left it at that. However, I never saw a man act this way before, he broke down into tears, saying "throughout this whole thing he realised what it meant to love someone, and how to love someone, and never wanted to put us through this again." I didn't buy it at first. I couldn't get past the lies and the betrayal. However, we're still together, nine months later, and he tries everyday to make sure that I know how important I am and how much our relationship means to him. He's even been hinting at the fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. My problem lies in the healing part of all of this, naturally I'm going to be insecure, I want to believe and trust him again, but I want to know, if from anyone elses expierence, if they found it worth it. I love him, genuinely, with everything I have, I just want to stop doubting him.




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Stop !


I found out 2 weeks ago that my my fiance had cheated on me with someone else and I had to make a decision to stay with him or not. So I decided to stay with him and I know exactly how you feel. Everyday the unsurity of Where hes at where he going, ect.....You just have to trust. Even if you dont want to. Trust. I was snooping through his phone, trash, mail, email, everything. But something told me...STOP!! Easier said than done, but if you feel you want to make it work you have to bridal your tounge and just have open communication with him. No matter what.

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