i can't trust my boyfriend
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I'VE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR OVER A YEAR AND I THOUGHT WE HAD THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP, i REALLY THINK HE IS MY SOULMATE, WE LIKE THE SAME THINGS AND I LOVE BEING WITH HIM, I'M 27 HE'S 24. HE KNOWS I HAD BAD RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE AND GOT HURT AND HE ALWAYS MADE ME CONFIDENT HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME. I'M QUITE AN INSECURE PERSON BUT I HAD NO REASON TO THINK HE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HURT MY FEELINGS. THEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO I FOUND STASHES OF PORN IN HIS CAR AND IT'S RUINED EVERYTHING. HE KNOWS I'M INSECURE ABOUT MYSELF AND HE KNEW HE WOULD BE HURTING ME BY BUYING THESE DVDS BUT HE STILL DID IT. WE HAD A HEALTHY SEX LIFE SO IT WASN'T LIKE HE NEEDED TO DO THIS. EVERY TIME I LOOK AT HIM NOW I FEEL HURT AND CAN'T FORGET WHAT HE DID, HE TELLS ME NOT TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP AND HE'S SORRY BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. ANY TRUST I HAD IN HIM TO BEGIN WITH HAS GONE AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GET IT BACK. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN FORGET ABOUT IT. I WANT TO MAKE HIM HURT LIKE I DO BUT I KNOW IT WOULD BE WRONG FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING STUPID. I REALLY WANT THIS RELATIONSHIP TO WORK BUT IT'S BEING DESTROYED A LITTLE MORE EVERY DAY, WHAT CAN I DO?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I think that that's completely wrong what George is saying about this question. I had a problem with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years with him watching porn also. He hid it from me, he lied to me about it, said he is so much more attracted to me than to them and doesn't care about them. He knew that I don't like it, and it made me so uncomfortable around him that I couldn't even be naked in front of him. I eventually got over it every time, but just recently have realized that it wasn't going to stop. He has done it several times and has lied to me about it every time. If he does it more than once, he will not stop doing it, and that is not right in a relationship where the woman he loves is uncomfortable with it.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer