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Love is saying 'I feel differently' instead of 'You're wrong.'

The green eyed monster I've become us ruining our lives

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
hi my name is caz,i have read your columns and i too believe that i have a big problem.me and my partner go out often and it always ends up in rows i always get jealous when he talks to other woman recently i hit him over it this is not the first time it has happened i feel so bad i always used to be a nice person but jealousy has taken up a big part of my life i hate the way i act when im out and my boyfriend said hed leave me if this kept up please help i want to go back to being the nice person i was before and not the greeneyed monster ive became its ruining my life.

User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Sobriety cures jealousness

Hi. I just had to respond because I too was just beating myself up for becoming a crazed jealous girlfriend. I actually hit my boyfriend too the other night. I am SO ASHAMED of my behavior. I was never that kind of person. I actually broke up with someone for being like that and now I AM LIKE THAT. Ugh....I really need some help trying to overcome this. I too do not want to lose my boyfriend over something low like that. I found what works is to stay sober for one - that way the mantras really do work. I just take a deeeeep breath and talk myself through everything mentally and after a few minutes, I am good to go. Add a few Jack and Cokes though and I start seeing normal things as flirtacious and I get angry. So for me - it's sobreity for a while because the alternative is triggers something bad.

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