Scared of being hurt again.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi again, the telling jealous thoughts to stop (about the past) is working pretty well, but I have one more problem I have had for a while, and not just with my current. I have trust problems because I have been cheated on a couple of times in the past when I have become really close to someone. I don't tollerate cheating, either so obviously I ended those relationships, as I considered it unhealthy and needless negativity in my life. But I am scared of being hurt by my current in the same way, even though I know I shouldn't take it out on him. I've tried everything in past relationships to trust again, but It kept getting shattered. Now I have found someone perfect for me (As you know from my last message, he is in the military) So trust, already being hard for me when it comes to men, can be even harder, but I REALLY want to trust him. I suggested maybe we take a break from eachother (even though I really dont want to) just to see where we end up and he got upset and said he doesn't want that, and that he doesn't wanna lose me, at one point he even started getting teary eyed and upset, So I scrapped that idea immediately as obviously it wasn't the right way to figure this out! Do you have any advice on how I should build up my trust? thanks
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Start each relationship on a blank slate,dont let your previous heartaches get in the way of something ,that could b great and long lasting.give your current bf and this relationship a new chance and if he screws up,well then let go of it,and if he doesnt hang onto 2 him (but Not in a clingy way) coz gud ,honest and faithfull guys are hard to find :-)
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