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Jealous of ex-girlfriend



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 1 year now. We really love each other but I have some MAJOR jealousy problems. For example: His bestfriend is getting married next month and I was invited, however, I can't go because a girl that my boyfriend had sex with one time is also going to be there. A few months ago the same thing happened and I tried to control my jealousy but I ended up leaving before the reception and walking home in the rain because my boyfriend wouldn't leave.

I was always slightly jealous in the past but never this bad. I fight with him all the time about issues with girls that he's slept before he was with me. I can't control myself and I say really hateful things. It makes me feel better to just let it all out but it's tearing apart my relationship. I really do care about him but I can't fix this.

I blame other people for causing my jealousy, like his bestfriend for inviting these girls to his wedding or my boyfriend because he "couldn't keep it in his pants". Is there something wrong with me or is this normal? What can I do to save my relationship or should I just get out before I hurt my boyfriend worse? PLEASE HELP




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Just plain gross


I have that same problem. my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, have a daughter, and were completely happy up until now. He had a bad relationship in the past, quite honestly, it was disgusting. The girl he was with lied to him about her age, stole from him, slept around when she was with him, contracted a few diseases, never bathed, ect. I can’t help but wonder WHY did you love this creature, after all she put you through? To make matters worse, she contacts me daily and reminds me how much “better” of a woman she is, and how I can never live up to her. It really disgusts me to think of him sleeping with her, whispering sweet nothings to her…I talk to him about it, and he tells me it was a mistake, and he really didn’t love her as much as she told me he did. I just feel like I’ll never know the truth. It really hurts, and it’s just plain gross. I have no idea how to make these feelings stop..

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