Girlfriend wont listen.
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been together about 3-4 months and have a great relationship. The only problem I have seen is when we fight. I know all relationships have hard times and all that but we can't deal with ours. Every time I try to bring something up that needs to be resolved (jealousy for an example), she comes up with a sloppy response (something along the lines of "Well I will just do this" and then drops the subject completely. If I ask her what she means or say "Just shutting it out isn't going to work" or something of that nature, she gets pissed and usually breaks contact with me for about 8 or so hours. Eventually she comes back and is cooler but still won't talk about the problem. I am sort of confused and lost as to how to handle this. I want to work out the problems and I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep her, but I can't if she won't talk to me. Any solutions?
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
I have faced a similiarproblem in my year long relationhip. The key is to remmeber that she may not know your intentions for wanting to talk about the issues. and to someone who thinks you just like to discuss problems in leisure time, that can seem annoying and quite stupid. I had to tell my girlfriend that the only way that we can ensure that we don't come across the same problems later in our relationship is to discuss why they happened to begin with. she didn't get the point until we'd gone over the same problem for a 3rd time (trust), and she'd seen how close i was to ending "us" because i was tired of having to earn her trust fromher past hurt, when i gave her mine freely. then she saw that we could have prevented that stress by talking about it when we'd first encountered it.
Summing it up, ask her to tell you why she doesn't want to try to talk about the problems, and tell her why you DO want to talk about them, then exchange views on the tiopic. relationships are about compromise.
Me and my girlfriend ended our dispute by decing to talk about problems, but not right away, like i wanted. we now wait for her to calmly view the situation, and then we discuss how to prevent it from happening again
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer