Dealing with an Office Crush

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have a long-standing 4 year crush/infatuation on a co-worker. He's aware of this and it's common knowledge at the office. I wanted a real relationship but he's not interested in dealing with me outside of work. It used to be manageable but recently I've made a fool out of myself and now I want to stop dwelling on him. I'm mad at my brain for thinking about him constantly and mad at myself for being so weak and susceptible to his charm and appeal. This whole thing really rips me up. I can't quit or be reassigned. Is there any strategy I can use that takes into account that I have to see him everyday and yet change the way I feel?

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Good fishing

Hi! I think the advice the advisor gave was good except for one thing. I think that instead of looking for a guy just like that, she should focus on the fact that there are probably ohter types that you would also like. I think that searching for a similar guy outside of work could somehow intensify the frustration she feels when she is at work and around the object of her affection. Imagine if she doesn't find someone close enough to him. She should just breathe easy and enjoy different types that she likes. In fact, I think that may help her infatuation.
He's not the only fish in the sea! :)

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