I removed myself off the one dating site I was on. However, he hasn't
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
I tried searching for the answer to this but I couldn't find one that fit it so here goes. Six months into our relationship he told me he had been involved with another girl but when he saw my ad on a on-line dating site he wanted to get to know me. Long story short we entered into a serious relationship and have been together a year and a half now. I removed myself off the one dating site I was on. However, he hasn't. My problem? I don't trust him, he's still active and checking them daily and when I talked to him about my fears he gets upset and it's like I'm the one who's the bad guy. He is with me everynight so I don't believe he's seeing anyone, but to me him being on there signals that he's not really serious about me and that he's still telling the world hey look at me I'm still single and available, drop me a line. Part of me says walk away. Another part of me says stay and deal with it. We're not kids anymore... we're in our 40's. Am I being unreasonable? I know that Trust is important and that you need to have it... hard to have tho when you're afraid history will repeat itself and it'll be me on the short end of the stick while he's moved on to someone else.
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
I just went through this myself. If you've talked with him about this and he still does it KNOWING it bothers you, why would you want to be with someone like that? Trust me.... this will NOT change. He's still "fishing". You are someone to keep him warm until he gets a bite from someone else.
I was with my guy for a whole year before I realized he was not just on ONE dating site, but Five.. that I found anyway. H did the same thing.. tried to make ME feel bad about it. It didn't work. Why should I feel bad? I'm not the one that's "fishing". I got rid of him. I feel better now than ever. At least I don't have to worry about what he's doing when I'm not around.
I expect my man to create an environment of trust for me. If he can't now, he never will.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer