We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I honestly don't know what to do. I'm engaged to a great man but who has a very aggressive rage within him. The smallest little things such as not being able to talk while I'm at work lights his fuse and and a war breaks out. He's in the military so I understand things are very irritable but whenever something doesn't go his way, he'll make me feel like the bad person and give me this guilt trip and we start an argument cause I have to stand up for myself. I already postponed the wedding until I see a difference with ys seeing eye to eye on things and when his attitude changed. He's not the same person I fell in love with and all that passion I saw in him is gone. I've put up with a lot (did I mention he is married?)and just this week alone we have argued everyday and we both have a lot of stress (there was a possibility of me being pregnant)and he threatened to end our relationship because I couldn't talk on the phone while I was at work and he decided we shouldn't spend as much time together (keep in my mind we are engaged to be married)and well we had plans to watch the superbowl together and he decided to go to a friends' house for a superbowl party and well didn't bother to inform the plans had changed and honestly I'm hurt, disappointed and I'm not going to be a girlfriend at his convience you know? His military branch required him to attend anger management classes but he refuses to take them saying he doesn't need them, i even offered to attend them with him and still no. I just don't know how much more I can stand, is love enough to overcome every single obstacle before you get to enjoy the prize?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
get a clue
My advice is really short - Run like hell.
Here's what your mama never told you. How a man treats you goes downhill once you're married to them.
For that reason, you need to find a man that treats you like a queen. Then once you get married, it won't be so bad.
If he's surly, angry, demanding, irritable, and generally an asshole now, it will only get worse later.
Worse yet, you were helping him cheat on his last wife. What makes you think he won't do that to you once you've married this mo-ron?
Get a clue, sister.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer